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Parenting

October 18, 2012

Advice for parents coping with the loss of a child

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A smile on man’s face doesn’t stop when he first heard of becoming a father and beautiful thoughts of a child overpower the life’s tensions. The planning starts right from the beginning from selecting his or her name and till the end when he is born. Not only this, parents even planned their child’s future of becoming a doctor if it is a girl and engineer for a boy. They have expectations from their child of making them feel proud one day but it would be the worst nightmare of a parent that before they could celebrate that day, there child lost his/her life. The sudden and unexpected death of a child shatters every parent’s life. Mother ends up shouting, “why he died when I should have died” and father drop tears on the body of his teenage son. Many a time’s parents wish that they could have controlled the situation but the future cannot be seen and no one can plan it either.

When a child dies, the parenthood is buried along and a parent’s life is left with no love and joy. They are shocked and numb and their emotions usually change. At times they feel back to normal and next moment they feel guilty, sad and despair. All these feelings are a part of what we call as a grief.  Regardless of the child’s age, when a daughter or a son is dead, parents lose their own self especially mother who loses her physical strength. But it is important for parents to negotiate their grievances by discussing what all happened with their child. This will be really painful for the couple who lost their child but if they together move on with the situation, along with the passage of time the pain will lessen too.

We all know that it is not easy to cope up with a child’s death but we are trying to put our efforts by drawing some advice for the parents.

Be patient and meanwhile allow time for yourself to understand that how you could handle this situation. Express your feelings to loved ones and to those who care in an effort to move on.

Don’t hide your emotions and allow yourself to mourn. People may feel awkward to start as they don’t want to make you pain but if you wish, you can share your feelings and let them know that that it is very important for you to talk about your child.

Write down memories with your child. This way you may laugh on something funny you write about them and feel happy to remember him.

Don’t play with your diet. Eat healthy and stay fit. This is the only mantra you have to follow. Is it that difficult?

If the grief becomes problematic, find professional help. If you feel depressed and anxiety follows too after many months, talk to grief therapist or a physician.



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