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Ivan
Wilkinson

How to deal with overprotective parents?

I know how it feels to have overprotective parents; I have been through the same problem. I have seen my sister suffer a lot too, because of this reason. Why do parents become overprotective and how can you explain to them that their child is old enough to understand things and make decisions for themselves. My cousin is like that too. My niece comes to me for advice and I want to explain to my cousin that it is not always joyous to be overprotective and that could make the child feel distant from the family. My niece has the same running away from the house tendencies and not being happy situations like I had. Tell me what should I do? How do I explain the situation to my cousin?

8 months ago

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Sanjukta Deb | Aug 27 2011

It is natural for parents to be protective of their children. However, they do not realize when this instinct of protecting their child crosses the limit and becomes an obsession. The parents are afraid of any harm coming to their children. Hence, they stop their children from doing certain activities that involves any risk. What they do not realize is that they are causing irreparable harm to their children.

Over-protection can be suffocating to a child in the process of growing up. They tend to take risks once they turn into teenagers. Overprotected children tend to rebel against the dominance of their parents, often becoming rude and abusive towards them. They also tend to hold a grudge against their parents and believe that they have been denied their right to happiness. Also, overprotected children have very low self-confidence and are not self-dependent. This makes it difficult for them to deal with the outside world.

You need to talk frankly to your cousin. Tell him that you can see your niece's unhappiness. Explain to your cousin that by being overprotective, he is just causing a great deal of harm to you niece. Since, you have gone through the same experience, you will know what difficulties you had to face because of your parents' over-protection. Explain to your cousin that for a child to have the attributes of self-respect, self-confidence, self-dependence, courage and responsibility, a little ignorance is healthy. Overprotective parenting may cause a rift between the child and the parent. Your cousin should be there for your niece whenever your niece needs him, but he should not try to control her. Ask him to communicate with your niece and find out what problems are she facing. Let him know that your niece may leave them for good if it becomes too suffocating for her. Tell him clearly that he can lose his child's love and respect if he doesn't loosen his control. Also talk to your niece and ask her to explain the problems she is facing due to overprotective parenting, to her parents. Balancing love and concern with a little healthy ignorance and non-interference can work wonders.