Teenagers

December 15, 2011

Meeting your teen’s first boyfriend



Meeting your teen’s boyfriend can be exciting, but do not forget that it is not an easy step to do as a parent. It is indeed a very sensitive matter. Parents are more possessive about their daughters. Hence, rather being overexcited for meeting your daughter’s boyfriend, kindly do some homework before you head for the meeting. Here are few simple tips that can help you to be comfortable and make your teen’s boyfriend comfortable with your company.

1.Talk to your daughter

It is necessary to talk to your daughter whenever you become aware of the fact that she is into a relationship. As a parent, it is your duty to move forward and check whether he is good for your daughter or not. Discuss the topic with your daughter saying that you want to meet her boyfriend. You can always suggest her for inviting him to your house for a meal or coffee. You can also decide for a perfect place that is convenient for both the parties. Do not forget, this meeting is not going to be a formal one, go together as friends and make each other comfortable.

2. Preparation

Now, as you have decided with the venue for the meeting, do not just go and meet him. Grab some information about him from your daughter. Ask her, his background and know some more about him. Get information about what he does for a living, so that you won’t be short of topics while you talk with him. This will make the conversation livelier and will make him comfortable to talk to you. If you are inviting him to your home, then make sure you cook the food which he likes.

3. Introduction

After you have finished with all the little research on your daughter’s boyfriend, it’s time to meet him and greet him. Greet your daughter’s boyfriend with a warm smile and handshake. There are chances where he might call you as Mr. and Mrs. as a sign of respect. But, you can ask him to call you by your first name. This will make the meeting more of an informal one and you all will enjoy the togetherness.

4. Try to reduce the pressure

As you are nervous about meeting him, do not forget that he will too be in the same mind set. The fact is, he will be more nervous than you as he is going to be the main part of the conversation. The other person who is going to be nervous is your daughter. She will be nervous for the thing that everything goes well in the meeting. If you are inviting him at your home make sure you greet him with an ease and reduce the pressure from all of you by a casual conversation.



5. Topics for conversation

While you start with the conversation, avoid making it more artificial one. If he is not interested in conversing on a particular topic then kindly change the topic. Do not show that you are more talented than him by talking on topics of which he is unaware. Let the conversation flow naturally. Keep the conversation interesting, light and stay away from the controversial or heavy subjects.

6. Try to avoid

There are people who try to be over smart while they meet someone for the first time. Make sure you are not one of them. Avoid asking him more questions, as this is not an interview session. We can understand that you are keen in knowing him more as he is your daughter’s boyfriend, but you can always ask more questions when you both know each other well.

7. Know him

Knowing him before you meet is important. Ask your daughter his name and allow her to describe him. This is because there might be chances of you getting surprised with his prominent facial piercing or a tattoo. Do not stare for these things as that can make him feel uncomfortable. So, it is always good to know him by his looks.

8. Be prepared for some guidelines

Preparing some guidelines and laying them on your daughter’s boyfriend can be of fun. See to it that you do not scare him by the guidelines or few rules. You can always ask him to follow it in a kind way. For example, you can advice him by saying “I know you guys have many friends and you like partying a lot. But, make sure that my daughter comes home by 11 as she can get some time to be with us and get time to rest”. The basic thing to know is your daughter and her boyfriend should know what you really expect from them.

9. Post meeting

After the meeting, speak with your daughter regarding him. Let her know what you liked about him and what his drawbacks are. Share with her some talks that you enjoyed the most. This will make her know that you enjoyed his company, which will reassure her of being in a right relationship.






 
 

 
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