Step families or blended families often face problems in adjusting, as things do not go smoothly in the beginning. Children resist the changes they face and the step parents end up being frustrated on not witnessing the expected results of their efforts. Though, adjustment with the new family requires patience and time, perfect tips and parenting secrets can indeed help build up a strong bonded family.
Communication is the key
This is the fundamental secret behind building a successful step relationship. It is the most effective weapon to resolve all the issues and conflicts. Though in the beginning, step parents might find it difficult to build an effective channel of communication with their step children owing to different backgrounds and living conditions, but slowly and steadily with patience and practice a communication bond can be established. Step parents should try to mix up their communication styles with their children and exercise successful parenting. Communication results in better understanding between the kids and the step parents.
Flexibility and patience
The most successful step parents are those who are flexible and patient in nature. When a step family sets up, a number of individuals meet including the biological parent, half siblings and step siblings. Contradictions are bound to arise. It becomes a mandatory responsibility of the step parent to remain patient and exercise flexibility. Step parents need not follow a rigid time table, instead allow children to cope up with the new environment. Step parents should understand that the outcome of their efforts will be slow and will take time to surface. You must plant the seeds of love and affection with patience and wait for them to flourish. You need to exercise the virtue of patience and not react on small issues.
Keeping up your sense of humor
It has been proved that humor works as an adhering agent for bonding a strong family. Humor can help the step parents to blend the family and bond with the children. It definitely lightens the environment and does away with the depressing scenario. However, it is extremely important to keep in mind that the humor is not being exercised at the expense of somebody else.
Learning the art to compromise
Being a step parent, it is extremely important that you learn to compromise. You need to step first on the path of compromising before your children do. Be the first one to support the family the most you can. Step parents should not be adamant on their own wishes and plans even if they intend to build a bonded family.
Don’t strive for perfection but accept the imperfections
Right after stepping into a step family if you strive for everything to be perfect, you will end up being frustrated always. Every step parent must be ready to accept the imperfections and understand that things will take time to step into place. You must accept the fact that this is not a television serial and in real life everything is not perfect. A step parent must understand that there is another person involved in the story, your step children’s former parent. So, it is very important that you deal with this aspect patiently.
Do not portray someone else: Be yourself
Children easily see through masks, so it is extremely important that you do not portray being someone else. Just be yourself all the time while dealing with your children. Do not try to impersonate a parent that your step children would like to see. You will be easily caught and this will hamper your relationship. Give away the thought of being a step parent. Instead treat yourself as a friend or uncle/aunt of your children. This thought will give you the space to deal with children and build a healthy bond. Children will also take up a step forward when they will notice that you are not trying to take the place of their own parents.
Spend some quality time with your partner
The foremost reason why you became a step parent was your partner. So, it is indeed very important that you spend quality time with your spouse alone. Though, this might seem little unfriendly to the children at first, but for being successful parents it is extremely important that you understand each other in the first place. Bonded parents can only build up a bonded family.
Shed off the negative emotions
Do away with the feelings of bitterness and anger. A negative thought always attracts more negativity in a relationship. Moreover, such negative thoughts are contagious. They sink deep into your family and end up harming all the bonds. There is no point carrying a burden which is harming you and your family. Instead, possess a positive outlook. Be the controller of your thoughts. Do away a negative thought with a positive one as soon as it surfaces. It not only builds a strong family but also provides you with good health.
Honesty is the best policy
This famous quote fits here very well. You need to be honest. Trust is the basic parameter that binds any family together. It is very important that you remain honest in a relationship and do not betray any member of the family. Honesty brings along positivity and does away with most of the conflicts. It opens the door for communication. This brings about a feeling of security and accountability in the family. Being honest, you set up an example for your children and can expect the same from them in future. Families which are built on the foundation of trust and honesty, always end up being successful and blended.
Respect and honor
Children always do what they see. So, if you want to earn respect, it is very important you do the same first. It is not mandatory that all the members of a step family always emerge on same conclusions or there are no contradictions. What matters is that all the members should respect each other’s thoughts and space. For this, it is extremely important that the step parents respect the biological parent as well as the children. You must not intervene in their privacy and possessions, or else this will never result in a blended family.